A Tuesday Trill

October 27, 2026

Look at me sitting down to write again so soon as if celebrating the luxury of my hyperactive mind. (That's a wee bit of snarky humor for those who happen upon this and have not had the misfortune of learning just how endearingly sarcastic I am with myself. Sarcasm really is a love language everyone should learn. Like subtlety and nuance. So much can be said without saying a thing. I revel in such exchanges more than should be legal. It could be said that it's downright naughty! I'm going to resist the next line I want to write. It is so damn tempting. I will behave just this once. I don't want to. How hilarious that I'm breaking what I sat down to write about.)

As it were, I wanted to document how happy I am with myself for stating my mind this month in situations that could make me uncomfortable or have fallout I'd not be pleased with. But then I had to go get parenthetical with it. Is that even a word or does it just sound similar to the correct word? Close enough!

It was not easy to begin with, and there was definitely discomfort, but then it cleared up. In one area, it's going great. (Did I just jinx myself? No!) In another area I have no idea how it's turned out. That does give me anxiety, but it does feel good to no longer be tiptoeing. Let's see how that holds up. In another important area, I've made my decisions known and I feel relief with the awareness that I will be standing by them. In another, I still have some major obstacles to navigate, but I've chosen to do so as bluntly as possible and then let it fall wherever it may fall.

There are, of course, plenty of smaller examples, but I am most content with the continual shedding of my diplomatic skin. That's probably not the correct word to use. I strongly believe in diplomacy, but there is just something about today's world that beckons to a confidence of... self? No. Choice? Not exactly. Awareness? Hmmm, still not quite right. Self...self...self...acceptance. Maybe. It could be. Curse language and its limitations! Hmmm, it is definitely not “diplomatic skin.” Perhaps a skin that is compulsively accommodating. Yes. That's far more accurate.

Whatever it is, I am spilling it unapologetically (Though I still apologize far too often. I'm working on it. 😹) and I am loving how that feels — Bumps, bruises, and all.

It's important to document this to myself, because there is inevitably going to come a time when I don't like it. For now, I feel much more me. My doing so actually brought an amused smile today on a topic that would not have done so before. On multiple subjects actually. A smile! That lifts me up from the anxiety pool in a most intriguing manner. A most intriguing manner indeed. Sincere smiles are eeeevvveeerrryyyyttthhhiiinnnggg. The energy they produce... I should write an entry on that.

I'm going to add a song that has nothing at all to do with what I just wrote. Well, at least not in my situation. I mean, it could in another. The chorus popped up in my head as I finished writing this. I think it adds such a fun pep to the step. Plus, since I'm literally tap-tapping the garbage in my mind out onto this mostly invisible screen, it kind of has to be done.

Not edited nor proofed.