Fatigued

September 26, 2026

When I was younger, I thought the choice women my current age made to be alone was strange and sad. Now that I am this age, I see it in a very different light. I think they just grew tired of constantly needing to tiptoe and wear masks around partners who claimed to like them as they are, but showed otherwise. At some point, it's simply no longer worth the energy.

Tonight, I am sad. I am tired. I am alone. But at least I can mostly be myself. It is too bad I prefer having a partner. I'm not sure I still believe one exists for me. Sometimes, it would seem, that knowing ourselves becomes a liability. This world breaks my heart.

Also, I still think macaroni is disgusting. It's mushy, cheesy, bland, and I don't like the way it feels on my teeth. I don't care if the world loves it or if it's been baptized by truffles and lobster. It's still gross in my book, and I refuse to pretty up my words so that someone feels better about themselves. It's macaroni! I'm sure there's plenty of food I like that another might find beyond disturbing. The utter ridiculousness baffles me to the point of a mind-numbing stillness.