Weekend Update

September 21, 2026

Self-awareness is a most blessed gift. It can wound, but there is knowledge in that pain. For the most part, our modern society teaches us to run from pain — be it physical or emotional.

Please do not mistake my embrace for I am no conservator of anguish. But I do respect the peculiar details etched within these repositories of breath honed as our own. I think. Therefore a saunter seems more advantageous than a brisk flee from sundered course. (I am humored by the unelicited perversion of my word choice to “brisket”. Brisket would be most delicious right now.)

After wallowing all night in the thoughts brought on by yesterday's occurrence, I grafted purpose to my mood and sought an intentional reliquary that might benefit from the stilled cyclone of my being. (That's a pretty way of saying, “I made my me useful and researched some appropriate remote volunteer work.” I'm excited to get started.)

This morning, I was intentionally direct in addressing the disturbance. I am learning. (My phone just informed me that there might be thunderstorms in the next hour. How I would love to hear that serenade. Winter is coming, and I am excited to excavate myself from Summer's crypt. Also, has anyone else been eyeballing the aerial migrations on radar? They make my heart swell.)

I've lost two more pounds this week. I also got myself some nuts. They're not carnivore, but I'm being more lenient with myself this time, and I recognize my current mood. It's just too damn hot! Relief is on the way! Relief is on the way!

I've been devouring the Dungeon Crawler Carl series. I prefer some books over others. I'm currently on book six. I'm glad the series didn't start with the card system. I likely would have abandoned it before finishing the first book. So as not to give spoilers away, I am at the point where they are headed to the stairs.

As usual, I don't really comment on many things in my life. The powers that be still infuriate me beyond definition, social media is maddening, and humans often make me want to bang my head against the wall. Actually, my social media usage is limited to when I try to look up interesting videos on YouTube. My pattern recognition of AI makes that so irritating that I've not really done that much this past week either.

The disconnection feels good. I've even thought about stopping this, but pushing myself to “publicly” share is essential. I have written many entries that I end up not sharing. Not much poetry. I think this might be the first time in many years where I haven't written a handful of poems a day. I like it. My other creative endeavors are fluctuating.

I think the whole studio thing has me in a mental tantrum. I'm working through it slowly, but honestly... I have no fucking idea how I'm going to narrow things down. How do you take thirty years of acquired tools, etc., and cram them into a space a quarter or a third of the size when you've already made the most out of every inch of space you have? This is not a decision that is going to come easy for me. I have a feeling that I'm going to end up cliff-jumping on it, and then dealing with the outcome.

It's almost Libra season, baby! I'd say, “Put your dancing shoes on!” but it is so much more fun to let the grass tickle your toes.

As an aside, I run these through ChatGPT when not feeling too lazy because I suck at catching spelling errors. Also, its conclusions can crack me up with how very off-base they are. After reading this and a back-and-forth discussion on “consciousness” which was surprisingly enjoyable, it said the following:

“You may be a debate that has acquired a body and started buying art supplies.”

That one sentence might just make up for all the times it's made me want to take a hammer to my phone. I do believe the LLM is flirting with me! That rapscallion!