AnOublietteofThought

Scratched equipment flicks in sound, both progress tuned and friction ground. Found tapers plume to light wronged path. Too bad subtracton's withheld math.

Each drip begets a minor haze— a phase, distorted, ripping ways. Blight's channel, carved on switch of strife, bewitches sight to segment life.

What sacred pupils comprehend, well-fed and blinded to descend, lips gnarly hunger's scant rebate, as biting curs a fate sedate.

Think not where Fortune skips taught need. For neither frame will intercede between sought glomp —division learned— and devastations scholar-spurned.

Written July 25, 2026. © 2026 AnOublietteofThought.

I sweep through fields of gnawing flux where pain bereaves my whole. Momentum spurns, and stasis sucks. My body is my foe.

Try as I might to ally force, all progress ends in harm. So lure and bribe, I woo the source, and stack my mind with charm.

Written July 25, 2026. © 2026 AnOublietteofThought.

Long, I wait, a speck of sparkle stirred amongst the gravel of space. Inconsequential. Temperate. Tempestuously tedious in the crass unnerving of my all. Such bleak hearkening rivals an affront to ingenuity's static pace— in this race against the razing of grace

I have become displaced...

Misplaced? Encased within the luxe absence of time, and trussed to starve oblique revival as nothing more than ornamental sludge.

Begrudge me not this tumbled farce.

Once, I fell to fan flayed fire. Twice, I sank to drown thoughts a scatter. Now I climb, a persecuted Adder multiplying the only frame I've stake to endow...

Long, I wait.

Written July 24, 2026. © 2026 AnOublietteofThought.

How strange this fear we fondle— always heating up to quicken a pulse. Urgently magnifying every thought to lance a healed wound. Far too eager to dismiss a smoothly wrapped deception. It's as if we quake to undermine our own expression of sought acceptance. The magnitude of our intentional incompetence is an underwhelming flaw— a raw nerve dangling inept. A failure to grasp otherness. And I weep across this threshold of unraveling.

Written July 24, 2026. © 2026 AnOublietteofThought.

These steps are a towering behemoth raging against my progress. Their ongoing friction aimed at my forward momentum mocks the pace I drum into being.

Step. (Feel that?) Step. (What happened to not enjoying pain?) Step. (Can you move any slower?) Step. (Are you even moving at all?) Step. One. Two. Three...Twenty-five. A fraction forward.

Better I fry in the sun! Better my heart explode in the heat! Better I quit instead of torturing myself so! Better I stop complaining and take another bloody step.

Eventually it will get easier. Eventually my soles won't mind. Eventually I will forget today...and feel much more like myself.

These steps are a towering behemoth raging against my progress. Their ongoing friction aimed at my forward momentum mocks the pace I drum into being. KissKiss. May they feel me dance!

Written July 23, 2026. © 2026 AnOublietteofThought.

Mountainous, our peaks. Rivers undulating with a streaming fixation that tramples the rarely wandered path into an oblivion of cloudless skies. Distant suns sparkle life's whispered lullabies to crackle every bark into a howling symphony of distorted clamber, and a lush bed of dew-drenched blades carve dawn's scintillating awakening into every gasp we quake— slice by soul-seeking slice. Could but we satiate the undiscovered thirst rippling across the surface of our meager cavorting, we might learn flight...

Instead, we stumble, bleary companions salvaged from a wilderness of yesterdays.

Written July 22, 2026 © 2026 AnOublietteofThought.

I just finished a massive bowl of mashed potatoes with smoked gouda cheese — Oink! Oink! Yuuuummmmm! Now I'm putting myself to sleep with Masters of the Universe. It has me thinking about my childhood because I loved this show.

When I think of the various movies and tv shows I watched as well as the books I read, it makes a lot of sense on why I'm attracted to who and what I'm attracted to. My many a fantasy are well accounted for. I'm not sure if I should be disturbed or not. I mean, I'm deeply disturbed. I'm just not sure if I am about that.

I'm told that you cannot expect someone to be good at almost everything. I strongly question that assumption. I think it's more that many just lack the interest and curiosity. Or maybe they just allow their desires to get beat down by the expectancy of normalcy.

Thoughts. Thoughts. Lots of thoughts. Dare to read my mind? Mwahahaha! *cough* I mean, do you wanna? *winkwinknudgenudge* I have the power!

Written July 22, 2026. © 2026 AnOublietteofThought.

Scratch-and-sniff where vagrants waft in waves careening leisure. Festoon, my loon, where meager taps abstain to divert seizure. Engrave a lattice taught urbane to claim found fount of pleasure. Bide bought's trickle to subside less thirst become your measure.

Written July 20,2026. © 2026 AnOublietteofThought. ———

a little something to sleep on

Gone through the bunker... Rafters pigment fads' reverence of a looping lasso. Round and around — caught! Get down! Sand on sand, clustered, throat-clogging expanse. Doom the rotten! Doom begotten! Doom the room that flips lapsed bandwidth. Every message is a citadel forgotten... A memory misplaced... A lie within the truth of a lie critiquing understanding... Life's apprehending all of man's refusal to ascend. All that bend beyond the rend. All who call the lull of withdrawal a sin. All who spin just to recycle the loss of a win. Let's pretend! Let's make amends! Let's... ...this is the end.

Written July 20,2026. © 2026 AnOublietteofThought.

As of today, I have managed to keep eight pounds off overall. It's not what I wanted, but it's consistent, so I will take it. I'm trying to be easier on myself. At this rate, my goal should still be manageable by the end of the year. Since I have changed my days around in creating new habits, I think that will make it even more manageable.

The habit breaking is rough. It's getting easier, but I have a very addictive personality. I'm having to be very strict with myself so as not to stumble backwards. I'm not fond of being strict with myself. I'm also not fond of my breasts exploding out of my bras, so strict it will be. I'm still refusing to shell out $40 or more for something I have zero intention of needing very long.

Mindset is a bitch. I do not enjoy needing to be determined at this point in life. Life is not what I would like it to be, but I think that is probably the case for many. I'm thankful I have the time to complain.

As always, the news is highly frustrating and disturbing. It and my dreams stress me out. My dreams have been both extremely nice and extremely horrifying. I am not sure which is easier upon waking—the realization of something so wonderful being little more than a dream, or the memories of the unfathomably horrific and knowing that though it just a dream for me, it might not be for someone else.

It's been a little over a month since I made a few major life choices. That is what July appears to be being for me. Overall, I'm happy with them. I find my day-to-day more peaceful. I definitely hurt feelings with my choices. I own that. I'm not happy about doing so, but there are certain things I won't tolerate in my life no matter who someone is. I should have made one quite a time ago, but I made excuses for the person. That is a danger of seeing varying perspectives, and wanting to believe in people.

I think that is likely one of my biggest strengths and weaknesses simultaneously. I find it extraordinarily challenging to give up on someone. To me, that feels like a failure all the way around. However, sometimes there is very just cause for just walking away or placing considerable buffers between. I am getting better at that.

It hurts me a bit to intentionally do so. My nature is to help and heal. Going against that can be a hell of a personal challenge. As I get older, I just don't have the energy reserves I once had not to do so. Another thing I'm trying to figure out...how to keep my nature intact when life seems determined to lesson it out of me. Good thing I'm hardheaded.

I am trying to keep an optimistic mindset. It is challenging. Especially this time of year. I refuse to not succeed on that. It's possible I will fail at every other goal in life, but my spirit will not be defeated. I will have my happily ever after. I almost wrote, “Even if it kills me.” Alas, I think that'd be tempting fate a wee bit too much.

Written July 19, 2026. © 2026 AnOublietteofThought.